Set Love Free

My heart skips a beat
mini passes in the street,
Two white stripes and purple body,
insides curdling gotta be the heat.

I had to let you go,
And beat a retreat,
Hurt you in the process
And me too in defeat.

Never a day goes by
Without a thought of why,
Speaking to a mutual friend,
He said why don’t I try?

Proximity in work is hard,
Perhaps for you too it’s tough,
Your steely exterior gives you strength,
Strictly now professional to the end.

You, your face beams into my space,
You shoot me down with a glance,
Five minutes later in my face,
You talking shop, I wish I could embrace.

Though you are with another,
Each day I’ll never suffer,
Cos no matter how many there are,
I would still be your lover.

What a dream, we can’t be.
You don’t want me,
I have to set my love free
Not think what might have been.

When you are gone,
Only then will I move on,
Bring happiness globally
Find freedom to be me.

Love Life (aka LL)

It must seethe and boil,
Feel hate, fists coil,
Work in the same office,
Fake a smile,
Too blinkered to understand
How ever much you cut off,
Divorce yourself from your memory
After you destroyed all evidence,
And say it cannot be a friend.
Cut off every angle and avenue,
Method for your heart to mend?

Physicality of what was past or present.
Does not change what happened,
Now a collection of memories,
You can lose time, I’m keeping them.
Happy you’ve moved on,
Happier I continue to face,
darkness of you in this place.
My light is outside,
With fresh air in my lungs
Sterkte in my stride,
I love life my friend.

We Don't Talk

We don’t seem to talk
Out of this artificial place of work
Inside its all crocodile smiles and throw away jokes
And yet with all that has passed,
I would drop anything to help or run to your aid
Not ask why or how this has played.
I’m sad you don’t want to talk or go for a walk?
I sought of understand though feel the hurt.
Not as before as I can concentrate on work,
Take you out the picture and be bothered not.
Please believe me I don’t want it this way
Have tried to repair what I have made,
Have been sorry and cried many a day.
Tried to be your friend and happy anyway,
And though you seem to have moved on,
Our chosen memories may be different,
Our time lost and gone,
I’m at a loss to know what else can be done.
Except to continue to smile and be amiable,
Try to regain a friendship or perhaps there is none?
Only you can answer…..

Not sure how

I can’t stop thinking about your txt,
And how you need more distance to love me less,
And yet every time we’re close,
My desire burns intense,
I am torn and tight inside,

I’m not racked with guilt or regret,
Every moment we shared I have meant,
What I learnt from you built my strength,
I want to give you sterkte back.
Really not sure how to tackle that?

Be your friend?
Leave the contract?
Cook you a great meal?
Or have no contact?
Talk all night would you like that?

You are right, I put myself here,
You were there in the beginning,
Of my ending, us winning and seemingly losing.
I have not lost but gained and need to give back,
You are very special to me never want to lose that.

Just not sure how...

Alone again

Time now is for me to cry,
Having nothing else to hide,
Accept my need, be alone,
My heart broke when you were gone.

Soon my challenge I will face,
Test my strength and mental pace,
Face my fears, unknown embrace,
Understand thoughts – contemplate!

Tired now must go to sleep,
Catch up mentally with dreams,
See vivid colours extreme,
Hopefully fly if lucky!

Your Friend

Would be so easy to slide
so easy to loose control
so easy to forget time
believe this us forever
feel me inside of you
and never let go...

Reality strikes home
Dowses another dream
You:
... so gorgeously wonderful
... so beautifully young
... so much opportunity
... so little responsibility
... so not made for me...
I can't carry on.

Whatever country you land in,
whomever you do it with,
experiences you share,
count on me to always be your
Friend, freund, amigo, vriend, 朋友

Time to repair

there is much I need to repair!
my heart breaking your heart,
my soul drowning in despair,
my direction-less life dragging me down.
but how did arrive here?

the drive had gone
I lacked ambition
the goals not clear
nothing to aim for
I was going rotten

it was only a matter of time
before I reached the murky bottom
fumbling around in darkness
clinging to fear and hope
I fell into a crevice,
out of which only my head did poke.

there is no pain as I was numb,
legs trapped solid nowhere to run
couldn't see over the horizon,
clearly the sky ain't blue
dark grey clouds hiding the sun
everything wrong, all I do.

solitude, loneliness, thoughts
all became my good friends
my conversation dried up
the horizon's visibility disappearing!
I truly had arrived at rock bottom

for months no-one passed,
my cries for help not heard,
my inner sanctum grew cold,
my attentions all ignored,
I adjusted to what had occurred,
even happy that thought so absurd!

rats seemed to avoid me,
as if just a turd,
enjoying my own company,
I flicked away the fleas,
my mind wondered aimlessly,
until footsteps I heard!

My fright at noise distant,
my skin raised as on edge,
And then a hundred thousand feet rushed by,
bruised and battered my head,
not a single soul took breath,
nor curious at me bereft!