Not sure how

I can’t stop thinking about your txt,
And how you need more distance to love me less,
And yet every time we’re close,
My desire burns intense,
I am torn and tight inside,

I’m not racked with guilt or regret,
Every moment we shared I have meant,
What I learnt from you built my strength,
I want to give you sterkte back.
Really not sure how to tackle that?

Be your friend?
Leave the contract?
Cook you a great meal?
Or have no contact?
Talk all night would you like that?

You are right, I put myself here,
You were there in the beginning,
Of my ending, us winning and seemingly losing.
I have not lost but gained and need to give back,
You are very special to me never want to lose that.

Just not sure how...

Alone again

Time now is for me to cry,
Having nothing else to hide,
Accept my need, be alone,
My heart broke when you were gone.

Soon my challenge I will face,
Test my strength and mental pace,
Face my fears, unknown embrace,
Understand thoughts – contemplate!

Tired now must go to sleep,
Catch up mentally with dreams,
See vivid colours extreme,
Hopefully fly if lucky!