Hotel Restaurant

Every time I eat a bit more,
I'm thinking deeply of you,
these feelings I cannot ignore,
I want every virtual piece of you,
you bring out my deepest desires,
of which I don't think I could ever tire.

Another life, in another time,
somebody else, you are me,
on this journey where will it lead?
Confused thought and mixed emotion,
are we happier in a different space?
Will it become reality or just fake notion.

reality for me, i'd choose everytime,
but a coward am I, don't want to lose my crown,
holding me back loving too many things,
desire within me burning again,
drowning the flames, but don't know where to begin,
stuck here and now, just want you sat apposite.

That would be nice, just you and me,
watching you eat so graceously,
enjoying the moment, laughing and joking,
patience for later, we can both enjoy
footsie under the table, back to the beginning!
Love your warm touch, now I am singing!!!

A throw away poem!

Funny looking at an empty inbox
funny looking at no sent items
was it all a dream or do I feel this real inside?
I do know what was there!!!
But how far? I can not decide?
You are not crazy, you are mad
Mad about what I'm not sure.
Your not fucking with my brain
and neither am I.
Permission to travel in-between time,
permission to escape for a short space in time,
permission to fuck your brains out
36 hours, again, I cannot decide?
And I'm good and you are too.
Never an anti-climax

The Party

Eyes boring into me
Eyes which are probing me
Eyes witch's are cursing me
Those eye's glaring at me

thoughts and fears weigh heavy
crushing me internally
feeling very unwelcome
doubts and apprehension cannot be undone

so hard to cope,
'play nice!', 'be nice!'
parting words from those who do not know?
I dread not and don't think so!

Is my life now screwed up?
Do I believe he does not suspect?
Guilt in my head, mind and soul
I don't know where to go?

Don't wish to return,
want to run away, be alone
be where no-one can find me
definitley, on my own.

I want to hate you, but can't
it's my own stupid fault, what have I done,
finding it difficult to be a man,
finding it so hard to understand.

killing me, crushing me, hurting me,
devastating, obliterating, heartbreaking,
where do I go? what do I do?
When will I ever be able to face you....?