Time to repair

there is much I need to repair!
my heart breaking your heart,
my soul drowning in despair,
my direction-less life dragging me down.
but how did arrive here?

the drive had gone
I lacked ambition
the goals not clear
nothing to aim for
I was going rotten

it was only a matter of time
before I reached the murky bottom
fumbling around in darkness
clinging to fear and hope
I fell into a crevice,
out of which only my head did poke.

there is no pain as I was numb,
legs trapped solid nowhere to run
couldn't see over the horizon,
clearly the sky ain't blue
dark grey clouds hiding the sun
everything wrong, all I do.

solitude, loneliness, thoughts
all became my good friends
my conversation dried up
the horizon's visibility disappearing!
I truly had arrived at rock bottom

for months no-one passed,
my cries for help not heard,
my inner sanctum grew cold,
my attentions all ignored,
I adjusted to what had occurred,
even happy that thought so absurd!

rats seemed to avoid me,
as if just a turd,
enjoying my own company,
I flicked away the fleas,
my mind wondered aimlessly,
until footsteps I heard!

My fright at noise distant,
my skin raised as on edge,
And then a hundred thousand feet rushed by,
bruised and battered my head,
not a single soul took breath,
nor curious at me bereft!