All messed up

What do I say?
What can I do?
I've screwed up,
it wasn't you,

I destroyed our dream and lit the fuse,
and started the funeral pyre,
I can't turn it back now,
And need to muse on future events,
and extinguish all my desires.

when dreams turn into reality,
are they as good as you thought they'd be?
what does hold me back within?
Answer's, I don't know where to begin.

Confusion rains on my parade,
hurt bounds and breaks my heart,
nothing in comparison to what I've done,
You my love and with your open heart.

striving for the golden panacea,
and me failing miserably,
I believe because I loved you so,
I have to go back to the start.

"Friends" and what does that mean?
No occasional glance?
No more hidden feelings,
What can I tell you?
Just that I'm sorry.

Time will take is course,
and break it up into pieces,
Time is the driving force,
in which the needing heart releases.

One so special and lost in tears,
please find your way home safely,
may your guardian angel guide you,
and lead you to your oasis.